The Mists of Pantea

January 30, 2017
We Finally Get to Freaking Alton Jeez

Loghren passes out as the fight with the dog men finishes. When he comes to, he is standing on an ornately decorated stone surface, and is surrounded by shadows. A pair of large talons emerges from the dark, and Loghren is eventually surrounded on all sides by pairs of talons. A voice speaks to him, telling him he is unworthy of the power of his spear. Loghren is then attacked, but passes out. When he comes to, he wakes up to Andraste staring at him.

She scolds him for napping when she can’t yeah man not fair and helps him up. The two then head down the cliff and toward the dead owlbear. They skin it, as well as take its… quadricles lovely just lovely.

The party pushes onward, but in the following nights Loghren experiences intense nightmares. Concerned, both Taman and Alex confront him about it, but Loghren remains aloof and doesn’t really tell them what’s wrong. Andraste, kind as she is, respects his privacy and leaves him be.

After a few days, the party finally breaks the tree line and emerge into a grassy valley. Lucky for them, the King’s Road stretches bellow them, and they’re only a half day away from Alton. Unluckily, there’s a huge amount of traffic on the road.

The party heads towards a gathering of refugees, hoping to get food and water. As they approach the barn, Sir Jerk Face makes his grand appearance, shoving aside an innocent farmer before heading off we shoulda robbed him im just sayin.

The party moves on, and finally FINALLY make it to Alton. They leave the survivors outside of the gates, promising to fin a way to let them inside before they enter the city with Genma. As they’re walking through the gates, Taman is stopped by one of the Watchers, and is told to keep his companions in line, and is totally racist and rude IF I RUN INTO THIS GUY IM FIGHTING HIM also why is everyone in the Watchers terrible.

The first place the party heads to is the Frothy Mug, which according to Loghren is the best bar in town. He leads the way inside, and is soon enthusiastically greeted by his old friend, Kallor. The two catch up, and they eventually get the rest of the party to play Boast, Roast, and Toast.

Taman shows off his “wings,” Andraste shows off her incredible drinking skills, Loghren shows off his spear, and Alex shows off his experience with Pelor. They all roast Loghren sorry Loghren lol before toasting and heading off to bed for the night.

January 23, 2016

The party, led by Taman, begin their trek to escape the Red Thicket. As they advance through the forest, Genma explains that he and the group of survivors had been searching for the party for several days before stumbling upon them by accident. After several days of exhausting travel, they eventually stumble onto a small clearing that appears to be safe spoiler alert: it wasn’t. In the clearing, they see bushes of bright red berries. Rosalinde and Alex, against better judgement, pop some.

Later, after Taman and Andraste chug a bottle of wine they prepare to commune with Selune. Alex speaks with her, asking her: if Gery is alive, if Gery’s kidnappers are in the Red Thicket, and if the Ewer or Braa’den is in Alton (yes, no, unclear). Afterward, he falls asleep immediately and Andraste takes first watch, where she bravely chases off a badgers one of which strangely bears a resemblance to Alex…jk, watches some poor dude deal with berry-related stomach issues she conveniently doesn’t notice that he doesn’t return, and hears the howling of far-off wolves.

Taman takes the next watch, and as he and Andraste and trading places, Rosalinde also begins experiencing berry-related stomach issues see, if she’d just listened to her elders this wouldn’t have happened. When she fails to return, Taman rouses Loghren and goes after her.Instead of Rosalinde, he finds heavy bloodstains and scraps of clothing, along with large pawprints.

He returns to camp, discussing what he found with Loghren, who then proceeds to wake everyone up to tell them what happened. Unfortunately, this send the group into a panic and wakes up poor Andraste. He and Taman are able to calm the party down after a few minutes, and then discuss what to do as a group.

They decide to split the party yeah cuz that went so well last time, and send Andraste and Taman after Rosalinde and the other missing survivor. They follow the tracks left behind by whatever took Rosalinde, as well as the blood trail. The pair eventually comes across what sounds like two creatures conversing in a language neither can understand. The creatures, who are standing over a dark pile of cloth, are armed with spears, and appear to have canine features.

The creatures are soon joined by six others, and they haul away the pile of cloth, which is clearly Rosalinde’s lifeless body, and dart off into the forest. Taman and Andraste debate what to do, and eventually agree to split up even further, with Taman following the creatures and Andraste going back to camp. Before they split up, Taman kisses Andraste on the cheek no comment.

Taman follows the creatures, and gets into an altercation with one when it straggles behind the main group. Taman is able to kill it successfully, and decides to head back to camp. On the way back, he grabs some of the scraps of Rosalinde’s clothing to show the others.

Meanwhile at the clearing, Andraste tells Loghren what happened before trying to sleep again. Taman comes back about twenty mintues later, and gives the bloody clothing scrap to Alex, who breaks the news to Rosalinde’s sons. They don’t take it well, but Alex is able to calm them, at least for the moment we need to ditch these guys they suck tbh.

Soon after, the group begins to move again and once again Andraste’s sleep is interrupted. They eventually come to a huge cliff of stone and rock. Before advancing, the group decides to send someone to the top to scout ahead. Too tired to make the climb herself, Andraste give Loghren her climbing pitons, and he is able to make it to the top if the wall of stone Loghren you owe me ten pitons…

As the party begins to move, one of Rosalinde’s sons, Billy, begins to cause drama I won’t forget that “pompous elf” comment, Billy…. They press on, and Alex walks next to Andraste, asking her once again about the incident in the cave. And once again, she refuses to answer his questions, and Alex drops the subject I’ll never tell you my secrets! Never!.

In the front of the group, Taman spots shadowy figures moving through the mist in front of the group. The creatures from before emerge, and attack the group. After dropping a couple, they unleash an owlbear on the party. Andraste kills it like a champ, though, totally saving Alex and the rest of the group like the true hero she is.

As the battle ends, Loghren’s spear is finally fully charged… and Alex pops two more of those berries. Just an reminder

January 9, 2017
Selune's Angels

As the party begins to fight the statues, each one exhibits a different elemental magic (Andraste’s is wind, Taman’s is water, Alex’s is earth, and Loghren’s is fire). Taman drops both Andraste’s and Alex’s, and Loghren kills his with Andraste’s help youre welcome no need to thank me, and Alex kill’s Taman’s y’all call me a kill stealer when i didn’t even kill a single statue smh. The well in the center of the room then begins to fill with a brilliant, white liquid that gives off an intense light.

Meanwhile Loghren removes the breastplate from his statue. When he puts it on, he sprout a set of falcon wings. The rest of the party follows, and each sprout a unique set of wings. They all feel a strange attraction to the glowing pool, and as they look into itthey see their reflection replaced by the faces of Nyx, Boddynock, Frug, and Roywyn. Taman tries to gather some of the liquid, but its surface doesn’t ripple, and nothing stays in the vial he uses.

Loghren and Andraste are the first to dip their hands in, but Loghren takes it a step further and dips his head in. Everyone follows his lead and dives headfirst into the pool. As they’re blinded by the pool’s light, they loose all sense of direction as they tumble through the air.

Loghren recovers first, and is able to see the rest of the party (although he can’t gain control of his wings), and he is able to see that the party looking toward a “surface,” and it almost feels like they’re underwater. Taman and Andraste manage to right themselves and are shortly followed by Loghren. Alex, on the other hand, can’t seem to get in control and continues to fall. Loghren grabs him however, and they fly toward the surface.

They break through it, and emerge in what appears to be a field of stars. The floor is coated in a few inches of water, and the horizon is dominated by the moon, which seems enlarged. Te left side of the moon is fractured and broken.

A vertical slit in the sky appears, and a massive bronze statue that looks like Erathis emerges from it, and it attacks the party. As the party fights the mysterious being, the moon crashes into the floor, and a beam of silver light punches through the back of Erathis and the party’s senses stop working as they black out.

Loghren is the first to wake up, and he sees immediately that the party is in an unfamiliar part of the red thicket. He also notices that the party’s wings are gone now that’s just cruel man you can’t gives us somethin awesome then take it away a half hour later :’(. As Andraste wakes up she hears multiple creatures moving through the brush, A few moments later, Genma and several humans appear.

January 2, 2017
The Mists of Pantea: The (Belated) Christmas Special

As Taman trips the giant boulder trap cue the Indiana Jones theme, he has a flashback to when the Black Stalker Tribe destroyed his home and killed his parents. As he snaps back to reality, he and Alex are able to avoid the huge stone. The party continues up the stairs, and they enter into a chapel-like room contain four tombs. Before Alex enters, he stops Andraste and asks her if she’s okay. She says yes, but is obviously lying. Alex doesn’t pry and the two move into the room.

Inside the room, the party hears a voice, and a spirit appears and asks them to restore the ’Master’s Peace." It also confirms the the tombs belong to Nyx, Roywyn, Boddynock, and Frug. They manage to restore the tombs, and they are then given a huge piece of Selunium. The party returns to the statue room, and place in Selunium in the heart of the statue of Erathis. The statue then reveals a spiral staircase leading downward, although the stairs get stuck and leave a twenty foot drop down.

Alex leads a rope down the staircase, and brings up his concerns about Loghren’s spear I’m also concerned that spear isn’t healthy for you. As the two bicker, Taman slides down the rope into the next room. Andraste goes to follow, but trips before she even reaches the rope and falls down to the next level. Luckily, Taman catches her see? It’s becoming a habit. As the two recover, a strange light fills the room, and two huge mirrored constructs emerge.

Alex and Loghren quickly descend after them, and the party begins to fight the constructs. Loghren manages to take down the first one by himself, and Alex finishes off the second. After the fight, Andraste and Taman pry the Selunium out of the constructs’ chests, and Andraste recognizes it as Selunium. She has a mini-flashback to when she was tasked by the Black Rose to steal a piece for its magical properties.

The party rests, and Andraste notices that the dust hanging in the air seems to be pushed by a slight current, ans she is ale to see a hidden door. Loghren tries to open it, but it won’t budge. Taman, however, realizes the door is mechanical and is able to open it.

An altar is standing in the next room, and five red orbs are scattered about. The altar has five insets in it, and a keyhole in it’s center. Each orb gives the party a shared vision. One shows the party killing the wyvern, another sows a void of blackness, and a dragon lunging at the party. The next shows an event known as “The Great Scorching.” The fourth shows the party’s fight with the constructs, and the final orb shows drow sacrificing a creature to Lolth.

It takes the party five painful attempts to place the orbs in the correct order. As they place the last orb, the opposite wall opens, revealing the next room. This room is furnished like a cozy cabin, with a bed, rug, and cozy fire.

Taman picks up a key shaped like a gear with an hourglass symbol on it. Andraste and Loghren move to the nightstand, where a bottle labelled “ZZZZ” sits. Loghren pour a drop or two onto the fire, but nothing happens. Taman decides to drink it, and after a few moments he feels lightheaded and woozy. He lays down on the bed, and when e opens his eyes again he sees that time has frozen, and no one but him is moving. H then takes advantage of the situation and steals fifty gold from Andraste how could u i trusted u. Taman realizes he can control the flow of time, and rewinds back to the altar room, puts the key in the altar, and fast forwards, allowing time to catch up to him again.

The next door is open, revealing the next room, which is shaped like a five-pointed star. A statue sits in each point, each has a symbol on it’s pedestal. Andraste is the only one who able to make out the text in the center in the room, which reads “To accept the past, embrace the future, and conquer yourself.”

All five statues suddenly move heir hands into a cupping motion as the magical concentration in the air builds, and something in each of the statues’ hands begins to shimmer. The one Andraste approaches forms a bow from wind, and fires an arrow made out out wind energy at her.

TLDR: shit happened, puzzles got solved, and we killed some constructs.

December 19, 2016
What's Your Definition of Okay?

The party, after translating the scrap of leather, rests in the cave.Loghren starts talking to his spear again, whileTaman talks to Twobo. Meanwhile Alex casts Detect Magic, and notices a faint magical trail. Andraste, on the other hand, notices a tall silhouette in the entrance to the cave. As the figure steps into view, she recognizes them as someone from her past i’ll never tell you who he is MUHAHAHA.

Loghren, seeing Andraste’s reaction to the figure, steps between the two, and threatens the figure. Alex snaps out the spell, and readies guiding bolt. Taman is nowhere to be found. The figure charges straight for Andraste, and keeps going despite being intercepted by Loghren. The figure hits her, and Andraste reacts in a primal rage. She lunges at him and wraps her hands around his neck, tackling him to the ground REGRET REGRET SO MUCH REGRET.

As the figure’s face contorts in pain, it suddenly changes into Taman’s face IM SO SORRY. Andraste, realizing what she’s doing, scrambles off of him. Alex demands an explanation from her, but she refuses.

As Taman hauls himself into the corner to recover, he is able to recognize the pollen that covered Loghren, Andraste, and Alex as one that causes hallucinations.

Loghren asks Andraste to casts Light on his weapon, but she’s too out of it, and doesn’t really hear him. Alex casts it on him instead. Luckily Taman is able to get her on her feet, and the party heads for the base of the pyramid.

They enter, and the ceiling is uncomfortably low for everyone except Andraste HA the benefits of being short. The hall also contains a mural, which Taman dusts off and inspects. The mural depicts short, humanoid creatures performing various tasks and pointing to what appears to be a shooting star. Another group of four is gathered around a fallen star. Another group worships a pyramid, where a shiny white stone sits aloft. It also seems to depict glowing constructs performing mundane tasks. Alex recognizes the humanoid figures as Norryans, an ancient, gnomish (?) civilization.

Taman steps out into the next room into an altar room of sorts . The room s dominated by a huge, metal, coppery statue. A shaft of moonlight is casting down on the statue, revealing it to be worn and tarnished. Four other statues sit in the room, and appear similar to the figures in the mural. The floor is covered in a thin sheen of webbing.

As Loghren follows him into the room, there is a puff of purple smoke, and a huge spider appears behind him and digs its fangs into his shoulder. It begins to warp its spindly legs around him, but he manages to escape its grip. Andraste hesitantly looses an arrow at it, but luckily manages to hit it. As the party fights the first spider, a second one appears behind Taman, who is able to keep its fangs at bay.

Eventually Loghren is able to kill off the first spider, and Andraste finishes off the second. Alex, Taman, and Loghren collect the spider’s venom, then go to inspect the statues. The statues have inscriptions in both what appears to be Dwarvish and Common, which read “Roywyn” “Frug” “Boddynock” and “Nyx.” Loghren recognizes the name from a bard song about heroes who wielded the powers of gods.

The party moves through the room, toward a thick door that appears to be stuck. Loghren manages to force it open, and actually manages to pull the door off its hinges. Taman and Alex move first through the doorway. Before he and Andraste go through, Loghren asks her if she’s okay. Coincidentally, Alex is also asking Taman if he’s okay.

As the party descends the stairs, a step sinks beneath Taman’s boot, and they hear a large rumbling noise fast approaching them.

Elven Curse Words

Warg Kisser: Otuuk Fe`Saign
Outsider: Gotii
Less Than An Outsider: Egotti
Elf With No Family/Clan: U`Raanu
Mud Crawler: Athuum
Fuck: Jukkete
Ass: Ud
Asshole: Ud`Raan
Bastard: Kuu`Datto
Tree Slayer: Taig`Sleanra
Non-Person Or Non-Elven: N`Tel`Quess
Dark Friend: Barad`Ellil
Demon Soul: Tanar’ri`Jaless
Tit: Alaa
Bitch: Xhan
Cunt: Ekee
Cock: Guuta
Slut: Hukaa
Whore: Ittee
Damn: Nuuta
Prick: Utaa
Moron: Botuu
Thief: Coraanu
Ork Lover: Dukkoti
Idiot: Haaku
Oath Breaker: Lobuu
Lunatic: Mutami
Traitor: Dhaeraow
Jerk: Nuuko
Shit: Traako

December 5, 2016
The Netherena Suddenly Becomes Relevant Again

As Alex and Gery get to their feet, they are almost knocked right back down again. Alex recognizes the tornado as a wind elemental from another plane of existence or is it plain of existence?. He then casts Aid on himself, Andraste, and Gery, who scrambles to his feet and runs away from the elemental. Luckily, he’s not running away in terror, he’s just making a strategical retreat and he looses arrows at the elemental. At one point, one of Andraste’s arrows is rebounded directly into Alex, who luckily manages to get his shield up in time. As the fight continues, the elemental heads towards the caravan, where Gery is cowering -now he’s terrified-. The elemental moves through the caravan, ripping up the roof and tossing the contents of the caravan onto the grass. To Andraste’s disappointment, Taman is the one who finishes the elemental off.

As the fight ends, Alex gives Andraste the arrow lodged in his shield before everyone gathers the caravan’s scattered supplies. Loghren praises Gery for his bravery uhm… what bravery?, making the halfling happy. Before setting off, Alex covers the roof of the caravan with a blanket, then casts Prayer of Healing on the party.

On the road, Loghren’s spear… whispers to him? but none of the other party members hear so we’re just going to ignore it for now Andraste especially didn’t hear it. Taman asks Andraste about Eleven society, and, to his disappointment, he learns that elves are assholes. Meanwhile Alex attempts to pet Twobo, but she pecks him good on you Twobo he deserves it. Alex flicks her in retaliation, but Twobo scratches him.

The caravan suddenly comes upon a large group of several hundred people, most settled in or around makeshift shelters. Most are clustered around a worn-down, abandoned home. Taman and Alex head towards an elderly woman handing out food to the stranded people. They offer her some of their rations, and she introduces herself as Rosalinde. She tells them that the bridge to Alton has collapsed.

Meanwhile, Loghren and Andraste go to talk to two humans talking by the swollen river. Loghren asks about crossing the river, and the men tell him that it’s impossible with out drowning if we had a ring of jumping though…. Loghren then asks them for help fording the river, but they refuse, saying it’s far too dangerous. He then asks where the nearest bridge is, and the men direct the two to speak to Rosalinde, their mother.

The party regroups at Genma’s caravan, relaying all the information they learned to him. They then all head back towards Rosalinde. However, she’s super-rude to Loghren for no good reason don’t worry Loghren I got your back. Taman is there to save the day though, and he gets her to tell the party about the Red Thicket. She warns them that it is dangerous, but if they are willing to stay the night she’ll guide them to the entrance we don’t need her we got a map I’m just sayin. Loghren explains Rosalinde’s offer to Genma, and he agrees to risk the Red Thicket.

Taman broadcasts what the party is doing to the common folk, offer to kinda help them through the Red Thicket. But he’s mostly either ignored or doubted.

As the sun sets Andraste and Taman go hunting for the stranded people, but only manage to catch some large rodents. Everyone beds down for the night; Taman climbs a tree, Loghren and Andraste settle down near the caravan, and Alex and Gery settle near the house.

The night is peaceful and quiet. However, at the end of Andraste’s watch, she thinks she hears something, but shrugs it off as just the wind. Twobo hears something rustling near the back of the house, and swoops down to check it out. Andraste hears another noise, and a pain hits her in the center of her chest. She swoons a bit and her vision blacks out before she passes out.


Taman and Loghren wake up to the sounds of screams and dark figures rushing out of the tree line. They see a farmwoman yanked into the treeline, and everyone begins to panic.

Loghren looks to Andraste, but instead he sees a strange void that blots out all light. He climbs onto the caravan and reaches into the void, and he’s able to pull both Andraste and Twobo out of it. He wakes up Andraste as townspeople begin to drop. Among the commonfolk, there are dark figures wielding weapons, as well as a strange darkness in the trees below Taman.

The darkness beneath Taman is so complete, he can’t see the forest floor beneath him. He calls Twobo and has her scout around. As he’s looking for a safe way down, he is struck in the back by a bolt. Meanwhile, Alex is totally unconscious sorry Alex :’(.

Loghren begins to fight the the black figures, and Andraste begins to fight one on her own. Taman, on the other hand, attempts to leap to the next tree, but misses and hits the ground. Hard. However, he sees a figure dragging a woman away, and, interestingly enough, the woman is wearing one of the Netherena collars.

Rosalinde and her boys go to help Loghren, but in the end, one dies and the other is severely wounded. Loghren sees Gery get dragged away, but can’t do anything to help.

As Loghren fights one of the figures who appears to be a leader, he notices they have a similar appearance to Omazyr. Taman, however, definitely recognizes the figures as Drow. He has Twobo follow the figures as they retreat.

The Drow fighting Andraste and Loghren disengage, but Loghren is able to catch the one who was fighting Andraste. Loghren then shows off his dark side, trying to get information on where the Drow are located by any mean necessary. In the end it turns out to be worthless, as the Drow doesn’t give anything up. The party decides to follow the Drow’s trail instead.

Alex once against casts Prayer of Healing before they set off int the forest. As they run, following the Drow’s tracks: Loghren manages to get stuck in a set of razor sharp vines as well as mud, they all get shot at, and Loghren and Andraste fail to climb over fallen trees.

Eventually, they come upon a place that looks like an ancient temple, dug into the ground. Lichen covers the stonework. There’s a massive hole in the floor, about 400 feet across and 200 feet deep, with terraced sides. Andraste notices that the moon seems unnaturally large and bright, larger than she’s ever seen before.

About three-quarters of the way down, the party spots fallen stone work, and dark figures disappearing into it. Twobo reunites with Taman, and she tell him about the captives teh Drow took, including Gery. They make their way to the entrance, where Taman finds a scrap of leather with Drow writing on it. It translates to:

""It is our queen’s will that you gather more slaves on which for her to feast. We honour her with blood and fire. Return amid the sounds of lash and manacles of not at all. Do not disgrace your house, Elderboy Szind."

November 14, 2016
Shopping is the Best Therapy

As the sun rises, Taman and Andraste are able to successfully identify the vial Andraste grabbed from Qiphine as a vial of Dust of Dryness try to say that five times fast. Andraste, of course, immediately uses it on the river and after a fit of hideous laughter obtains the pellet of water.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party prepares to head back to Eastwater. Loghren decides to utilize Gery as a squire, and somehow completely misunderstands Gery’s desires to go back to Eastwater and take a nap same, Gery, same.

As the party nears town, they hear a shout and the gates begin to open, revealing that the entire town has gathered to greet the party. They cheer and clap as the party approaches, but as they realize that Alex is carrying a dead child, their cheers die away. Loghren, in response, shows off Quirora’s skull and proclaims that both hags are dead what a drama queen.

At this, several things happen at once. Several townspeople begin to take up the cry of “witch slayers!” as Tiff and another woman rush forward and embrace their returned children. Another pair of parents approach and succumb to grief as they realize their child didn’t make it. Alex tries to say something to them, but can’t manage it. Taman, in his stead, tells the parents that Alex did his best.

Droba ushers the party into the city, where the party is thanked profusely by everyone. Finian announces a feastfor the party, and begins to direct the townsfolk into organizing the event. Meanwhile, Taman and Andraste spot Genma in the crowd and approach him. Genma is pleased with the good the party has done, and tells Taman and Andraste that his business is concluded and that he is ready to set off the next day.

Meanwhile, Loghren goes up to the parents of the dead child and asks them to talk to Alex they never do. how ungrateful. Tiff then approaches him and tells him of her forge, and says that she’ll give the party a good deal on whatever they need.

Droba leaves with the parents of the deceased child, and Taman, Loghren, and Andraste go to The Happy Medium to get a drink honestly they probably got way more than one let’s be real here. However, Alex just wanders aimlessly around the town.

Hours later, the feast is ready and the party is seated next to Finian as well as the parents of the surviving children. Finian thanks the party once again, and actually adresses them as The Red Knot guess who my new favorite NPC is. He rewards the party with money and an ever-burning torch, as well as a scroll.

The party continues, and Loghren arm wrestles everyone, even Droba. After his humiliating annihilation, Droba notices Loghren’s lunarglyph , and tells him that he needs more people like Loghren in his order (the Knights of the Chase or something i dunno). He tells Loghren that they fight for the freedom of all classes of society, and aim to end the oppression of the lower class. Loghren shows a general interest to this, but turns down his offer Loghren’s too good for Droba anyway.

Alex, after lossing to Loghren, asks around about Cyna, but no one from Eastwater has heard about her. However, he does learn that the vials from Gert’s boat were the same ones Droba was going to use to ward the town. Alex, in his drunkenness, lets it slip that Taman took one of the potions from Gert. Luckily, Loghren and his amazing charisma is there to cover for him. Alex then asks for some of the potions, seeing as Droba won’t need them anymore, and Droba agrees.

Meanwhile, Andraste and Tamn prepare for the sickest flute/fiddle duet in Pantea’s history. Unfortunately, the fiddle Taman is given mysteriously breaks, leaving Andraste to play by herself.

Alex approaches Droba, and asks him about the lunarglyphs and the moonblessed (at this time, the full moon is out, and everyone’s lunarglyph is glowing). He shows off his own lunarglyph, trying to get Andraste and Taman to reveal theirs. They don’t buy me a drink first Alex then we’ll talk.

As the night draws to a close, Loghren and Alex try to start a food fight, but the town kinda… just… stares at them.

The next morning, the party heads towards Tiff’s. Long story short, Loghen replaces his glaive blade with the wyvern stinger, Alex buys a battleaxe and splint mail, and Andraste trades her longsword for a rapier, and everyone gets a hug before they leave.

Afterward, Alex and Andraste head towards the jewelry shop in the market, with Alex looking for magical items and Andraste looking for diamonds. As they approach the stall Alex casts Detect Magic, and Andrate totally “covers” him. Nobody suspects a thing.

Meanwhile, Taman visits Sunseeker’s Apothecary, and purchases some health potions and an invulnerability potion in exchange for his wyvern horn.

As Alex’s spell ends, he notices Andraste’s pockets glowing, and a ring on the jewler’s stand glowing. The halfling tells him that the ring is a ring of jumping worth eight-hundred gold pieces. When Andraste asks the halfing about diamonds, he holds up one the size of a fingerail, claiming it to be worth a thousand gold. However, she is skeptical and doubts its worth.

The two give up and leave, but Andraste has a plan to get the diamond from the halfling. Taman creates a distraction by firing one of his screaming arrows, but it only makes a half-hearted screm. Regardless, it creates enough of a commotion for Andraste to snag the diamond and another gemstone from the halfling’s pocket. However, the “diamond” is a fake, and the only thing of value she grabbed was a piece of jade the first time I actually steal something it turns out to be a fake diamond… go me.

Taman and Andraste make their getaway, and everyone meets up at Genma’s caravan. They set off for Alton, and Loghren tries to show off his new glaive to Genma, who doesn’t really seem to notice.

Throughout the journey, the party notices that the fields aren’t yielding any crops, and the wind is growing stronger and stronger, to the point where Twobo is having a hard time flying. She is eventually forced to perch near Taman in order to rest.

The winds begin to worsen even further, and Loghren notices the wind starting to spiral and pick up. Genma stops the caravan as the winds evolve into a tornade that moves toward the caravan. Andraste and Taman hop off as Loghren tries to move the caravan out of the way, jolting Alex and Gery out of the back and onto the ground as the torando approaches even closer.


October 31, 2016
A Pyrric Victory

Pyrric Victory

[pir·ik vik·to·ry]


  1. a victory that inflicts such a devastating toll on the victor that it is tantamount to defeat
  2. a victory in which the victor’s losses are as great as those of the defeated
  3. an empty victory, where the victor hasn’t truly won anything

As Alex slams the cottage’s door shut, he is consumed by a flashback of his past. He sees the people who ransacked his village and killed his family. Reliving what’s probably the most traumatic experience of his life, he resolves that he won’t let any of the children die oh god this already hurts… can someone else write the summary this week? and that he will kill Quirora. He casts Guiding Bolt at the hag like a total badass, and advances toward her as she screams in pain.

Loghren, pleased that his initial suspicions are correct, attacks her immediately. As she takes a massive amount of damage, she vanishes. Alex casts Detect Magic, lighting up the cabin like the Fourth of July ’Murica. He is unable to determine er exact location, however, and goes to where he thinks she is.

Loghren, on the other hand, throws his javelin at where he thinks she might be and misses by a mile. He then senses something over his shoulder, and turns to see Quirora standing over one of the children, her claws at their throat. Loghren tells her that she’ll have one chance to leave unharmed, and they won’t pursue her if she flees immediately, which displeases Alex.

Quirora doesn’t respond, but her image shimmers, like a ripple of water, and she disappears again. This time, she reappears next to Loghren and attempts to cast Hold Person on him, but fails. She then grabs one of the children, and rips her throat out before Loghren can do anything.

Meanwhile, Taman is rushing towards the cottage, still carrying a semi-conscious Andraste. Taman heals her does he touch her ass? the world may never know…, and she is able to recover a small bit.

Back at the cottage, Alex sees the girl Quirora killed, and attempts to heal her. Fortunately he is able to stabilize her it’s so sad thinking about how futile this was. He then throws a Light Hammer at the hag, and it slams into her face ha! serves her right.

Alex and Loghren continue to trade blows with Quirora, and Taman and Andraste finally make it back to the cottage. Taman sets Andraste down who is still soaked to the bone with nasty lake water and enters the cottage, joining the fight.

Before Andraste can join, Quirora summons a set of orbs, like the ones that guided the party to the cottage. Andraste attempts to shoot one but misses. She then hides behind a tree. However, she hears something moving from within the tree line, but something seems off to her… her hearing isn’t as sharp as it was before she regained consciousness out of all the disabilities to give Andraste she just had to get the one I have in real life.

As the fight continues, she moves through the open window, and warns the party of the movement behind her. She then looses an arrow straight into Quirora’s face, killing her god damn that’s badass. As she dies, the orbs disappear.

In their limited prep time, Alex gives Andraste his Superior Health Potion, Taman gives Loghren his Potion of Invincibility, and Alex checks up on the child, who is alive in breathing. Andraste, in a move of ultimate grace, falls to the dirt as she attempts to climb out the window, smacking into the shutter and making more noise than Alex. Unfortunately, she draws the gaze of Qiphine. Andraste feels an intense fear fill her heart, but is able to shake it off, and become determined to take the hag down. This conviction lasts approximately two seconds, as Qiphine approaches and claws Andraste, knocking her unconscious god damn you’d think I killed her puppy or something what did I do to this lady to make her hate me so much.

Taman hops out the window and feeds Andraste the Superior Health Potion, getting her back up to her feet, while Alex moves closer to the window and attacks with his Spiritual Weapon. Unfortunately, it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Loghren meanwhile attacks her fishy henchmen. One tries to grab him, but fails miserably. The other tries to cast Bane on Loghren, Andraste, and Alex, but Alex uses the Crystal Rod to absorb the spell, negating it completely.

Andraste looses a scream arrow, taking an incredibly wild, but powerful, shot. The had is completely annihilated, and is blasted back. Unfortunately for the hag, her path takes her straight into Alex’s Spiritual Weapon, where she is impaled HAHA BITCH TAKE THAT THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR KNOCKING ME OUT TWICE AND MAKING ME DEAF IN ONE EAR. As Qiphine’s life force fades, the sky darkens and massive thunderstorm rolls in. Everything organic begins to shimmer, then fade as the demiplane collapses. Even the ground below the party’s feet begins to rupture and shake.

As this is happening, a giant figure rushes in from where the party came. The man stands about seven feet tall, and he appears heavily armored. An aura taking the shape of Trithereon surrounds the man, making him appear bigger than he actually is. He also appears to be cloaked in flames. Andraste and Loghren actually recognize the man from previous encounters.

The man, Droba, runs into the house, and pierces of of the fishy henchmen with his halberd hey dude I like your halberd, killing it. He warns the party that there isn’t much time, and that they have to leave immediately. Loghren, possibly feeling up-staged, ignores him and attacks the remaining fishy henchmen. However, he then gets himself grabbed by the creature.

Taman tries to get Loghren to leave, but is unsuccessful. Alex then picks up the wounded girl, and gets the other two to follow him out the window. Andraste, seeing that Loghren is in trouble, shoots an arrow at the fish thing, hurting it but not killing it. After she looses the arrow, the ground violently shakes AND SHE GETS HIT BY FUCKING LIGHTING but like a total badass it doesn’t really hurt her and she shrugs it off.

Loghren successfully kills the final fishy butt, decapitates Quirora’s corpse, and grabs one of the children. Taman and Alex also grab a child The Red Knot child delivery service, anyone?. Before they leave, Andraste loots Qiphine, and stuffs whatever she finds into her pocket.

Andraste takes point as the party runs back the way they came. As they run, Loghren becomes weighed down, and slows. He makes the difficult decision to drop his beloved glaive but yet he still keeps the hag’s head. Andraste notices this, and stops and doubles back. She casts Mage Hand, and grabs Loghren’s glaive. However, she is now just as behind as Loghren is, about sixty feet back from everyone else.

As the party runs, a massive fissure opens up in the ground. Gery and Droba are able to make it, as well as Taman and Alex; although they experience some difficulty. Taman then gives the child he’s holding to Gery, and waits at the fissure, ready to help in case someone cough cough Andraste can’t make it across. Loghren, of course, makes the jump no problem, but Andraste falls short. Taman is able to grab the other end of Loghren’s glaive, and swing her up to safety jeez Taman we’re really making this a habit aren’t we.

They run, and eventually see the portal that leads to the normal cottage. Gery and Droba make it through the noticeably smaller portal, and Andraste clears it as well.Alex, Taman, and Loghren, however, experience difficulty and barely make it.

In the cottage, everything is shaking and appears to be shrinking smaller and smaller.Gery and Droba make it through the shrunken door just fine I’m noticing a trend here…. But Andraste, Loghren, Taman, and Alex are all hurt by the demiplane’s collapse. The girl in Alex’s arms dies .

Oh god i can’t do this On the other side, Alex cradles the child, murmuring healing word over and over, even though it’s futile. Alex is distraught, as all he can think about is the murder of his own family. Taman approaches, and tries to take the body, but Alex refuses to surrender it. Seeing the state he’s in, he sits with Alex.

Loghren, seemingly emotionless, carries the other child and.begins to leave the Black Swamp. Andraste, still clutching Loghren’s glaive, sees the state Alex is in and decides to sit next next to him, offering him her presence.

Taman leaves them to thank Gery, and explains how they felt like they’d only been gone hours, not days. Alex rises and claims the responsibility of telling the parents of the girl’s death.

As the party begins their solemn march through the swamp, Twobo flies to each of the party members, trying to comfort them as best she can Twobo is the real MVP. After walking to the edge of the swamp, Taman and Andraste suggest they make camp, but Loghren protests Loghren this isn’t like you….

Loghren reluctantly agrees, and they set up camp. Alex wraps the girl in his bedroll. Andraste, wordless, hands Loghren his glaive back, and he responds in a bashful manner it’s ok Loghren it’s not everyday you almost lose your glaive. Taman, meanwhile, brands himself with a solid line, adding to the other two present lines. Loghren begins to clean Quirora’s skull, and Alex questions him about it in an accusatory tone. They argue, and Alex gets physical before Andraste can intervene.

Droba and Andraste begin to speak, and he introduces himself. Loghren and Alex continue to make snide comments, despite Andraste’s interventions god damn guys listen to your elders . Taman thanks Gery once again, and even compliments him honestly my entire viewpoint of Gery has changed. Taman learns that Genma is still waiting for the party, and that he is the one who introduced Gery and Droba.

Droba, meanwhile, attempts to comfort Alex, and even heals him. Unfortunately, Alex doesn’t feel any better, and is content to wallow in his sorrow…

October 24, 2016

After the battle with the wraiths, Gery looks beat up, and exhausted. Loghren praises him for his bravery, and asks that he returns to Eastwater in order to look after Genma. Gery agrees and rushes off. After he leaves the party rests, recovering a bit after the battle.

When they feel rested, they move on through the Black Swamp, with Taman and Andraste scouting ahead (with Twobo, or course!). As they travel through the bog, the trees slowly become thicker, and more dense and forested.

It takes the party several hours to reach the clearing where the cottage is supposed to be located, however, the clearing is strangely empty. Taman notices that there aren’t any tracks, however, the smell of sweet rolls seems to lead to this place, almost like a trail. Loghren is suspicious of this place, and readies his glaive while Andraste and Taman retreat back into the trees.

Alex walks to the center of the clearing and casts Detect Magic, and he is able to sense a large source of arcane power. He suggests that the party waits until night time to see if the cottage appears. As they wait for nightfall, the party helps Loghren set up a trap in case anyone tries to escape from the clearing.

The sun sets, and the cottage seems to materialize. The door is wide open, and there are no lights on. The smell of sweet rolls emanates from within.

Andraste is selected to take point, and sneaks up to the house with Taman following a few feet back. At the door, she doesn’t see or hear anything, and decides to move into the house. A thick layer of dust coats everything, and the table is covered in half-eaten, rotten food. Despite the rotten food, the smell of sweet rolls is all Andraste can smell. Children’s footprints cut through the dust, and lead through the doorway to the left and seem to follow the sweet roll scent trail. Taman moves into the doorway as well, and beckons Loghren and Alex forward. They attempt to stealth, but fail completely its ok guys you tried your best.

The party searches the cottage, but turn up nothing of interest. They move down the corridor to the left, and Loghren takes point. They come across a mysterious cupboard, which Loghren is suspicious of and pokes with his glaive. When nothing happens, Taman and Alex open the cupboards doors, despite Andraste’s warnings. Inside, instead of seeing the back of a cupboard, they see what appear to be the Black Swamp, but tinted a strange purple.

They all enter the cupboard, again despite Andraste’s warning, and pop out on the other side of a strange rift. On their side, everything glows purple, even the party members. The trees appear to be more angular, thicker, and overbearing. Even Taman doesn’t recognize the foliage, which freaks him out a bit; he also loses his connection with Twobo. The night seems darker than normal, and it is difficult to see. Even here, the smell of sweet rolls persist.

Alex casts Light on his armor, and Andraste casts Light on Loghren’s glaive, and they set out into the tress, following the smell of sweet rolls with Taman and Andraste taking point once again. They eventually run into the swamp again, and it becomes incredibly difficult to advance. As they move forward, the darkness becomes thicker and thicker, and the smell of sweet rolls becomes stronger and stronger. Eventually, the darkness becomes total, and their Light spells cut off.

Andratse and Taman circle back and rejoin the other two. Alex recasts Light on himself, and Andraste recasts it on Loghren’s glaive, and they set out again. As they move, they begin to hear their own voices surrounding them, laughing and singing, and a strange orb of light hovers in the distance. They attempt to ignore their own voices, and follow the orb.

As they party approaches the hovering ball of light, it vanishes for a brief moment, then reappears further away. Alex charges after it, and Taman follows, while Andraste and Loghren hang back. As Alex and Taman get close, it once again pulls a disappearing act, only to reappear further away. Taman attempts to loose an arrow at it, but misses horribly.

They continue to chase after the ball, Loghren even tries to throw a javelin at it, but it continues to flee. Interestingly enough, the ball of light begins to grow brighter when Alex dismisses his Light spell, and the party is able to see that the ball has led them into a clearing. Alex tries to convince Andraste to dismiss her own Light spell, but she refuses she doesn’t like the dark, ok?, so Loghren just covers his glaive with his blanket.

They approach the light one final time, and when it reappears this time, it reveals a more restored version of the cottage in the Black Swamp.Light emanates from inside, and the smell of sweet rolls is most definitely coming from inside. As the strange, dissonant laughter and singing of the party member’s fades, they can hear other, unfamiliar voices coming from inside the cottage.

The ball of light vanishes, and Taman and Andraste scout ahead once again. Alex and Loghren follow about thirty feet behind. When Taman and Andraste come up to the cottage, they peer through one of the windows, and see a beautiful woman, laughing and serving three children sweet rolls. The children appear unharmed and happy, and not distressed in any way.

Seeing that there’s nothing the two of them can do, they motion for Alex and Loghren to come forward. Alex tries to sneak, but fails yet another stealth roll, and probably would’ve made less noise if he hadn’t tried to stealth in the first place. Loghren attempts to make the noise seem casual by knocking on the door to the cottage.

The woman opens the door, and greets them in a kind, friendly matter. Loghren claims that he and Alex are friends with Tiff Mirrel’s child, James, and ask if they can check on him. She gladly welcomes them inside.

As they go inside, Taman shows Andraste his lunarglyph, and she shows him hers.

Back inside, Loghren speaks to the children. They all seem happy, healthy, and well-fed they’re totally eating rotten food or something. After he makes sure the children aren’t in any immediate danger, he introduces himself and Alex to the woman, who introduces herself as Quirora in hindsight we should’ve grabbed those kids and ran for it.
Alex, due to his cleric training, is able to detect an otherworldy magic eminating from her, but is unable to recognize it THE SIGNS WERE ALL THERE WHY DIDN’T WE TAKE THE KIDS AND RUN.

Loghren approaches James, and asks when he’s going home to his mother. The boy is clearly confused, and claims he hasn’t been gone long, and that he’s just here for dinner C’MON WE SHOULD’VE SEEN IT COMING. As Loghren rises, Quirora asks him and Alex to follow her to the kitchen, but Loghren stays with the children while Alex goes with her.

Andraste and Taman ready themselves by the door, and listen in on the conversation. Meanwhile, Loghren attempts to get the children to stop eating, they protest, but eventually listen to him who knew Loghren was secretly a dad.

Quirora tells Alex that she’s been expecting someone from Eastwater for a while now, and that she is saving the children form her evil sister, Qiphine, who is hideous and rotten, inside and out. She begs for Alex and Loghren to travel to her sister’s lake and slay her.

Quirora tell Alex that Qiphine is taking and killing the children because she hates everything good in the world, and wants to see anything filling with hope filled with despair instead. According to Quirora, Qiphine has cursed the land for a very long time now, and the darkness won’t lift until she is dead. She also tell Alex that Qiphine is a master of illusion magic.

Loghren approaches Quirora, Taman enters the cottage and approaches her as well, and Loghren asks her what’s stopping them from leaving with the children. He also tells her to drop the illusion she has on herself, but she denies that she is using one red flag number 8,000,000. She also claims that she is bound to the cottage, and cannot leave until Qiphine is dead.

Taman then pulls Loghren outside, and tell him he can track her movements with Hunter’s Mark while they go and investigate the lake, but Loghren doesn’t want to leave the children. Taman then suggest that wither he and Andraste go alone to investigate while everyone else remains behind. Andraste then rejoins them, and she and Taman set off for the lake.

They stealth toward the lake, and at one point Taman trips and falls face-first into a tree honestly I didn’t need to include this but I am for irony’s sake. When they arrive at the lake, they see that it’s surface is reflective, and mirror-like, and it’s impossible to see into it’s depths.

Andraste approaches it, ready to cast Shocking Grasp into the water, and Taman retreats into the tree line, his bow ready. As she bends down to cast the spell Taman totally checks out her ass she sees something in her reflection behind her. She is too slow to avoid it, and is pulled into the lake depths by an invisible force REGRET REGRET SO MUCH REGRET

Seeing this, Taman drops his longbow and sprints toward the lake. He frantically searches for her in the dark water, and is able to fins her hand and pull her out to safety. As he is pulling her onto the shore, Qiphine materializes above the water. Taman tells her that Quirora sent them to talk to her, but she doesn’t seem interested in conversation.

Taman sprints back, grabs his longbow, and looses an arrow at the hag. Andraste manages to recover enough to move next to Taman, and loosing a screaming arrow at the creature as well. Unfortunately for them, Qiphine begins to chant, and summons to humanoid fish creatures to her aid.

She then glares at Andraste, who falls under the influence of her gaze and collapses I just can’t catch a break this round fml. Taman picks her up princess style and flees from the lake. About halfway back, Andraste wake up, and, still being carried, they both continue to the cottage.

Back at the cottage, Loghren and the children get to know each other. However, Quirora has been noticeably silent. Suddenly, they hear an animal sound coming from outside. Alex goes to investigate, but soon realizes that the sound is merely an illusion. He slams the door and tells Loghren to get the children somewhere safe. As Loghren stands, Quirora drops her illusion spell, revealing an ugly, scraggly looking old woman clothed in dark robes and with that our cruel DM leaves up on a cliffhanger.


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